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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Blue Planet
    Posts
    886

    Default Sad News....But life goes on. ;(

    Sorry i haven't been around the last month. I still got to finish the plugin soon.
    But around that time got some sad news...it was coming for a while.
    The few years i spent with my wife in China was great but i got a call in 2015 to come home
    in 2015 to look after my sick mother (who passed away sadly on Dec 31st 2015 ..in Heaven
    waiting for the trumpet call lol ) anyway.. i was trying to get all the visa stuff to bring her out to Australia
    after that time.
    She just didn't want to come out to here after that and about 2017 she raked up a huge 180000rmb debt
    Without any details i told her i cant pay for that and she was actually OK, she realized she hurt me and our
    marriage and her parents wanted her to get a divorce now and have a baby and marry a local.
    She regrets it but what can you do. I forgive her and we will be good friends..that's the way i am.
    So the recent news of the divorce means i need to fly back (TOMORROW Mon 29th) to Nanning, China.
    We'll go to the marriage office and sort it out.
    I will try to help her a little in the future as we spent great 3-4 years together but her parents are amendment to
    resolve the marriage...for their daughters sake ("save face")
    Her parents know i looked after her well while i was still her (always sent her money fortnightly to help) but
    that's the way it goes sometimes.. no bitterness or anger or resentment on either side.

    So i'll be back in two weeks and finish the WooCommerce part of the plugin.
    side note: I KNEW i should have married a wonderful Filipino girl...looks like I'll be
    looking at the christianfilipina.com when i get back.
    Look for a local here you say? noway...have you met the local Aussie girls and American girls?
    No comment..no thanks, sorry.
    I been waiting ALONE for 2.5+ years of not seeing her (Qing) and its been painful and lonely.
    So...anyway,
    sorry gang ..not something i wanted to hear and your like family so i just wanted to let you know.

    Seeya in a few weeks

    Robbie

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    207

    Default

    Sorry to hear about this, Robbie...

    But coming from a "Filipina girl"...you better be careful messing with some of them. They see a white guy and it's $$$$$$ in the eyeballs, plus in the family's eyes too in many cases. They'll milk you for whatever they can get. There are some good, honest girls too, but even if you find an honest one you need to know that "Family obligation" is VERY strong here. Helping out is almost mandatory if you get hitched to a Filipina, with only few exceptions.

    Tc
    Mel

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    584

    Default

    Sorry to hear Robbie. But life has a way of working out the way it should, so just look after yourself and let life take of itself as well.

    Mike M

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,209

    Default

    Sorry about the bad news Robbie. 2.5 years is a long time and the good news is you can move on. Marriage is tough but multi-cultural marriage adds an even more difficult layer on top.

    Definitely listen to Mel. From my understanding, there is no social assistance programs, in the Phils, so family needs to help each other out. It is mandatory. You have a lot of Filipinos OSW's sending most money back home to take care of mom and other family members. It is ingrained from birth. I've read many expats who have married Filipinas complain about the family always asking for money. It is a tough situation for a Filipina who feels responsible for the family but also want to keep her husband happy. Make sure you understand the dynamics before getting into a relationship.

    Anyway, I've been through the same thing mate. I can honestly say I am much happier now than when I was married. If you ever need to talk then let me know and we can get on Skype.



    Thomas

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Kingston,, NY
    Posts
    63

    Default

    So sorry Robbie - hang in there...for what it's worth, we're here for you...Rich

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Blue Planet
    Posts
    886

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rjj418 View Post
    So sorry Robbie - hang in there...for what it's worth, we're here for you...Rich
    Yep,thanks mate.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Blue Planet
    Posts
    886

    Default

    yeah,thanks to all the replies and concerns..too kind and really appreciate it.
    Just got back yesterday. We both, as not seen each other for that time, were
    both pretty emotional but were like normal,as before laughing even on the motorbike
    on the way to the divorce place. Weird..but its better to be on good relations than bitter and angry, as its not me anyway.
    We were getting on bit too well then the divorce lady smiled and looked at me
    and said: "...um..you are sure you want to divorce? Your not being cohurst in anyway
    You don't look like your ready."
    I said no, i don't want to..BUT..we have to. She had a letter she gave them and without going into
    personal things her family insisted due to many reasons and we were both in agreement.

    I only saw her few more times and spent the rest of the time traveling with my ex-brother in law who is a kind
    and funny guy. Just wish he would stop match making on the journey lol. Unbeknownst to him unless
    you can speak good Chinese and THEY want to come live with you and are truly prepared to leave thier
    country,family,friends,food,life...they're hard choices to give up.

    And i appreciate your advice Mel. Its not an after thought, as i have a good christian friend who's daughter
    is married to my sister's son. And Tim married a Christian Filipino.
    I am only on christianfilipina.com as they have strict membership, you have to pay (a lot actually) and
    they ring me and i have to send documentation and other proof's ect. They ring the ladies and on your behave when
    you find like-minded lady then can even live chat/video and consultation on both sides.
    Dont worry, unless you have had bad encounters i'm pretty up on scammers.
    And..if you read my profile..i make it clear that ill never send money to someone I've never met for any reason, period.
    Qing wasn't like that at all. I lived in china 3 years..i just had to return to
    Australia too look after my sick mother, couldn't get back & grew apart.


    ANYWAY...this is not a dating site lol.
    I'd prefer this thread disabled actually and sorry for sharing a bit of my heartache even here but your really are an
    extended family, we've been here since, well when it started late 2008 it started..for me.
    I'm not giving up on the software OR love. Thanks for the advice too T and Mel. Esp Mel.Expect questions
    young lady..if i need to ask things..you hear? lol Thanks.

    Looking forward to getting back to this ...hope things going well Thomas.

    Thanks again people's .
    Robbie

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,209

    Default

    Welcome back home Robbie. Glad it is all sorted out. I'm also glad you're not holding onto any resentment or anger. It only hurts you when you do that.

    Anyway, I'll close this thread since you asked and if you want it reopened or deleted just shoot me a pm.


    Thomas

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